Home Win Marred by JD Charlton's Botox Crisis

Bourne were fielding a side of extremes, with a blend of those very new to the game, those with a wealth of experience and those who had told their other halves they were on an ornithological expedition in the Lincolnshire Fens for the afternoon and should under no circumstances be mentioned in the match report. Kick Off was delayed as the baying masses awaited the arrival of the two sides onto the hallowed turf, as Skegness’s kit was with the guy who was late.
Following a well-observed minute’s silence in memory of those lost in conflict, Bourne made a strong start to the game. Sleight, who scrummaged throughout with the enthusiasm of a faithful hound whose master had returned after a 6 month trek through Borneo, was to the fore in the early exchanges, rucking with aplomb. The opening minutes of the game were also noticeable for the hard-running of debutant Ed Johnson, who consistently dragged Bourne over the gain line.
In the midfield Bourne were rolling back the years, with centres Catling and George looking like they had never been away. It was George who opened the scoring on … minutes, breaking clear down the left, shrugging off two tackles with disdain before stepping the last defender to go over in what was the champagne moment of the match. Lagdon converted and Bourne were off and running.
Back came Skegness, and Bourne’s defence was tested to the full. It remained resolute, with Oglesbee defending as though Donald Trump had asked him to repel a Mexican invasion. Bourne did not over-commit to the breakdown and were able to wait for their opponents to make the errors. They were able to steadily make their way back up the field, and, running a dummy switch with Catling, Lagdon was able to jink his way over the line, and convert, to double the lead.
There was still time for Burgin to pull out a trademark snake-hipped shimmy to weave his way up the line, being stopped only by scenes reminiscent of a Tom Jones concert as women’s underwear deluged the pitch. As Bourne poured forward, Binns was on hand to take his chance with a sharp 1 yard finish to increase the lead.
Half time came and Bourne found themselves under the cosh again after the interval as the visitors came back strongly, offloading at will and making ground, before breaking free and scoring. This prompted the introduction of JD Charlton, who had turned up late following his manscaping session overrunning. The scrum half was unable to influence proceedings for long though, losing an eyelash in contact and having to be withdrawn. Bourne began to exert their influence on the game again, with Filby running strongly and Lagdon running the show. A flowing move down the right resulted in the fly half throwing a scoring pass to the evergreen Wren, but regrettably he was unable to show the safe hands of his distant youth, and the chance went begging.
With Forbes coming into the fray Bourne were able to extend their lead again, the back row man crashing over from a well-worked 5m penalty, and with Binns adding an additional 3 points Bourne were home and hosed. There was still time though for Bourne to lose 2 men to the bin with Wren and Hiscocks falling foul of the referee.
This was a great performance and a big improvement from Bourne over recent weeks. The 2nd/Development XV next travel to Market Rasen 3rds on 3rd December – please let John Burgin or Neil Oglesbee know if you are available.
Man of the Match Alan Faversham